When a farmer uses a kind of fertilizer that does not have any effect, he has to change the soil. The same is true for us.
We have to change the way we tend to the rich soil that is our Anger. At the moment we become angry, our anger plays its own games. It makes us believe that another person is the cause of our pain. And, most of us tend to blame that person for our suffering.
However, your anger is like a frightened baby – distressed and crying. This baby needs a courageous mother to attune to him. You are that mother for your baby, for your anger. And if you begin to get curious about your own fury, you can begin to see that it is often driven by fear.
We are very rarely told to move closer to the anger, to the fear – to just be there, to become familiar with it. The advice we usually get is to smooth it over, to take a pill, to distract ourselves, or that we’re entitled to it; but by all means make it go away.
The next time you encounter anger and fear, consider yourself lucky. This is where the seeds of courage comes in, the courage to move beyond blame and toward curiosity.
What games does your Anger play?
Join my husband, Jonathan and I on He Said, She Said, a call-in counseling show this Friday from 10:00 – 11:00 am pt on VoiceAmerica.com. http://http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/2075/he-said-she-said
Have the courage! Take a risk! Call us! 866-472-5788